Sunday, 30th December 2001
Violent Statements…
This is spray painted on a wall near my house - “May God Damn the Pusher Man.” It’s in huge letters covering the side of a house. May God damn…
I wonder who wrote it, what drove them to making such a violent statement to be immortalised in memories that notice it, as did I, this laundry-day afternoon. I wonder if they still mean it, if they will always mean it and if one day they will find themselves as that pusher man and be damned by their own wish..?
I don’t like that statement…
Who is the pusher man to the author of that sentiment? Who were / are they referring to..? Because honestly, who isn’t a pusher man..?
I presume, like some super fly on the wall of that person’s consciousness, that they meant the drug pusher, the coke / heroin / crack dealer, the supposed bad men of society, who, in economic terms, lend more support to the society that despises them than the most loyal, self-righteous and ‘good’ citizen out there. Is the pusher man really a bad man, or just a dissentious advertising executive, creating a desire and subsequent demand for a product we had no prior knowledge of needing..?
But that is not my point here. I don’t want to get into the politics of the drug trade, use and need. I don’t know enough, only that it is more insidious that Mr. Morality would have us believe. It is enough to know that from my perspective, if laws must exist, that their use and sale should be inside it…
My point is that how could one damn the pusher man..?
How could one damn the pusher man and use the name of the One as your authority for doing so? What about the preacher man? What about Mr. Sales and Marketing? What about Mr. Politician and what about the Woman who believes in herself so strongly that she sings with an acidic passion that burns to the very core of our being..?
All of these tempt us. All of these change us. All of these have finger prints like indelible markers that line our bodies with ideas…
We are all pusher men and you wish for god to damn us all..?
No, no, I do not like this statement at all…
And my point to, is how could one feel so grandiose as to know that god would even choose to damn the pusher man, to damn you and to damn me? That is a guilt laden god and not in keeping with my understanding of god. Earlier a Mother told me how she loved her son, loved him even when he had done ‘wrong’, loved him and forgave him without a shred of remembrance of past pain inside of her. That is god to me. That is how god feels about us…
And it’s blasphemy too, in a very real sense, for how could a creator force be victim to such subjective statements? How could a creator be so shortsighted as to fail or forget to look at life from the pusher mans perspective and know not the goodness in that person and the reasons as to why they do what they do. That suggests a defect in intellect, a lacking of love, a twisted rational and I don’t see how a creator force could exist so…
And if your god is so faulty, why do use their name with such reverence..?
I don’t think that god would damn the pusher man, for in doing so, they would be damning us all. If we are damned, it is by virtue of our own selves, by failing to recognise ourselves in the funfair mirror, by experiencing life as a dichotomy, a dialectic, a polarisation of them and us…
May god bless the pusher man for with that hope I find a willingness to state the contents of my heart…
Friday, 28th December 2001
Fancuntingtastic!
WorldWideWarner just bought me back a CUNTASTIC Lord of the Rings lighty-uppy-flashy-goblet. I am wondering if this isn’t a sign of acquiescence from the Cuntiverse that I can indeed kill revolting person at work. Maybe I could collect his blood in the goblet and then use the poison to wither the weeds in the garden…