Saturday, 19th May 2001
05.19.01 to 05.12.01 (Really Old Rants!)
Today I am sexist. I apologize in advance for this, but I am. In light of this admittance I would like to make the following statement:
ALL MEN ARE SIMPLETONS.
Thank you and goodbye.
ActWhoYouSayYouAre, PissyMood AM
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How I know I have been in Philly Too Long:
I like Tasty Kakes. When I first got here I looked at the ingredients of those things and swore I would NEVER eat one. I have eaten 3 this week. Sorry body, forgive me, I know full well what I do but still I eat them plastic cakes…
How I know I am getting Older:
I take naps. Actually, let me rephrase that, I need naps. I am far too cuntloving young to be taking power naps. Old people take naps not 7 year old’s trapped inside 26 year old’s, groping on their titties and saying, “Ohhh, what are these?!!!”
How I know I worry too much:
I am losing weight. Fast. “Who’s that boney beeeotch over their. She looks a lot like Tizank.”
HowIKnowINeedSleepBad, ICan’tFocus.
Just my fucking luck. Cute piercing mannie is gay.
Sigh, NeedSugar PM
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Two things. One, I just got my nipple pierced today. That shit hurts. No more random hugging of people for a while me thinks. I think that every Women’s breastusisisisis are different sizes and I decided to go for the smaller one, me lefty, so she would get more attention and loving. I really like how it looks though, a nice big 10 gauge ring hanging off me boobie. The guy that pierced me was really attractive too which made getting my tits out to a random stranger both easier and more difficult. Should have asked him for a snog first or something to break the bare naked tankie ice…
Two. I have decided that Hope is a destructive emotion and I want to take lessons in killing it. All the while it gives you something to live for it kills you softly and sweetly. Hope is like an artificial respiratory machine. Hope is crack. Hope is capitalism on an emotional level. Hope is alcoholism. Hope is the mass media. Hope will sell you out to pain all the while pretending it is on your side. I don’t like Hope. Hope sucks major dick.
DidIHearYouSayYouWantedToComeToMyParty, FuckHope PM
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Me: It’s a Very Special Day Soon!
Aoxomoxoa: Your party?
Me: More important than that?
Wreckk: What?
Me: My birthday!
Aoxomoxoa: You were born?!!
Me: Well, it’s the day we celebrate as my born day.
Wreckk: The day that all the chemicals came together to make you?
Me: I wasn’t made from chemicals. I was made from Angel dust, not the PCP kind, Butterfly wings and hummingbird spit.
YouCanStillComeToMyPartyThough, BigCookies PM
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I had forgotten what the Earth sounds like. I forgotten what darkness was. I had not, however, forgotten how much they were a part of me and my Solitude…
Bumbafuck countryside was beautiful. Full of voices that are overridden and ignored in the city. Full of mysterious shadows that the city night owl will never find. I saw sunsets that had no interruptions, except perhaps for trees and the horizon, and they become not a distraction but an amalgamation of wonder. I saw loping companionship. I smelt my favourite smell. I watched Flutter-By’s and the dance of light on leaf. I felt peaceful and quiet for the first time in a really long time…
It’s my birthday soon and I thank the Universe for this present that is now the immediate past. It was a wonderful gift, an inspiration, a shadow to illuminate the dimness that is…
Refreshed, ElectricKettle PM
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You know I love having a back yard in the city. The Silence and contemplation that can come when all the while behind you a gazzilion earth combusters are zooming past…
And The Big Pimp Tank Cunty Fresh Green is a very happy bunny today. I am going to see the trees this afternoon and staying there until tomorrow night. It feels like an epoch since my country girl’s soul last saw her beloved, and so this part of the unrequited thing that is my life shall at last find peace…
ComeToMyParty, OxygenSoon PM
Friday, 11th May 2001
05.11.01 to 05.01.01 (Really Old Rants!)
So, I am having a party. It’s on Tuesday, May 22nd at KatManDu in the luvolee town of Filthydelphia. I am having a Jam session and also Big Rich will spinning. Should be a lot of fun, it’s an open air venue on the stank arse Delaware river and providing people come, I will be a happy bunny.
The jam session will include The Roots, (Black Thought, ?uestlove, Hub, Kamal, Scratch and Dice), James Poyser, Larry Gold, Jazzyfatnastees and Lady Alma, (of Sylk130 fame).
If you are near me in a tangible sense and want more information, please email me and I will send you more details…
Tell all your friends cuntloveit and I will let you fondle my beer bottle…
SaladForMeVitamins, PleaseCome PM
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On my way home from the Okaysweatshop today I saw this Coca Cola van backing into a hospital grounds. What the kerfuck is a Coke van doing at a hospital..? Apple / Orange / grapefruit juice van I can understand, but Coke..? Fizzy pop should be the last thing someone at a place of trying to get better is drinking. Fizzy pop is nothing but bad for you. Fizzy pop should not be in a hospital.
The only good reason I can think of for a Coca Cola van to be at a hospital is if Coke is actually made from the sweat of ailing people. No other reason…
I’m not saying Coke is disgusting, I like the stuff, get addicted to it of I am not careful, but I am just trying to make a point here that sick people do not need to be toxifying their bodies anymore than they already are…
GoatCheesePizza, MustEatLots PM
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Just remembered a funny thing that happened today at work. Tayyib brought one of the mannies from Jazzanova down to the Okayplayer offices. I gave the mannie a T-Shirt cuz I am a big freaking fan of their geniusnessnessnessnessness and a round of applause. Anyway, that’s by the by, when Ty and he were leaving this particular person who works out of our office space who I wish to stab in the neck with a pitch fork said to Tayyib, “Oh cool, you got a new intern?” He was refering to the Jazzanova mannie…
IWishPitchForkingWasn’tIllegal, DumbEejit PM
Things I know today:
There is a big difference between questioning something because you believe it to be wrong and questioning something to understand a different answer…
My MPG is getting more benign by the day.
I feel like giving Stef Tetaz T-Shirts and so I shall.
Mostly my I Love My Cunt T-Shirt gets positive responses.
I Love Sao.
The Coldplay album is cuntfabulous.
I prefer Kid A to Amnesiac.
I miss The Major.
I Love the Sunshine.
That I am glad I have found space again to write.
That the Geegy One is the Shit.
That I must control the tendency to worry.
OverAndOut, VegeSlices PM
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Just remembered a really good reason to carry on knowing that white people are stupid fucko’s who need to be recreated…
Last night I was sat on my front step smoking cigarettes and talking with the Moon. Next door to my new abode is a bar where white people go. Outside was a group of boys in their early 20’s and as they walked past me one of them said, “Give me a drag of your cigarette.” To which I replied, “No.” Number one, where the fuck is his manners? And number two, why would I let some skanky, no man put his mouth around something that belongs to me? He then got all salty and pissed off that I would deny his manhood admittance into my world and he decided that the smart and rightous thing to do would be to start calling me a bitch etc etc.
Brings me back to the point I made earlier this bunch of proliferations. Was that the best he knew how to be..?
HeSaidHe’dAlwaysLookOutForMe, IsThatWhatHe’llDo? PM
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I met an Angel earlier today, she looked like a Pink, patent hobnail boot. She told me wonderful things and I am glad to have met her…
I just got the Coldplay album, I like it a lot I do.
One of my divine missions during this incarnation is to make as many Americans as possible like Marmite. Eat it and forever be blessed.
I find it exceedingly startling that I tried on a tank top yesterday and it was too big. The size was small. I am really hoping that it was a store for the larger Woman…
I had a dream last night which reflected the realisation of my waking wishes. I now know what serenity feels like.
I am a yuppie. The new house I have moved to has air conditioning and a washer drier.
Today I do not have a malignant plethora of grievances, today it is benign.
Make sure you look at the Moon tonight, she is showing herself fully right now. You’ll discern many new things if you ask her the right questions…
“You say nothing at all…
12MoreDaysTillIGetABed, AnswerMyPhilosophyQuestionPlease PM
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Knob Creek is a revolting, nasty substance. I have a malignant plethora of grievances growing on my right arm. I threw up all the water I consumed to help prevent this fatiguing hangover that is like sludge in my veins. I awoke to my cat sitting near my head looking at me lovingly and with a gift for me. It was a dead mouse. I want my bed. A bed. Any bed will do. Will you pick me up? I now fully understand the lyrics, “Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonlight, don’t blame it on the good times, just blame it on the boogi.” Brown liquor is a really bad thing…
Sleepeo,SLeepeo,WhereforArtThouSleepeo?, HelpMePlease PM
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You know what is the coolest thing about America to me..? The fact that people put out onto the sidewalk perfectly good pieces of furniture for the trash mannies to dispose of.
This, as is all things I guess, both a good and bad thing. Bad in the capitalistic waste of resources, good in that poorpers like me get free stuff. This week I have found a new bookshelf, (much needed, mine was terribly overflowing), and a dope futon base. Thank you oh wasteful rich people, Tanky is happy…
GotTheShakes, SaladAndMarmiteBagel PM
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I was somewhere or other today and I found this link to someones dissertation on the etymology of the word Cunt. I printed it out and am currently on page 11 and it is so far very interesting. Read it and learn…
On another note, I have been thinking about experiences / situations that present themselves to me, and how I react or create myself in reference to them a lot lately. I see every experience that I live as a chance to be the best person I know how to be. I try to to respond to the experiences I am given in the way that I can create the most good. Sometimes I fail hideously and sometimes I am happy with myself.
And so I wonder if everyone sees life in this way. Do you see life as a chance to be the best person you know how to be? If so, do you consciously try to be the best person or do you just fall into the drama of a situation and let the emotions fly?
I mean, if everyone is consciously trying to be the best person they know how to be, a lot of people must have very low opinions of others and of themselves. Lots of people don’t act good…
And I know good and evil are relative concepts, but I mean good in the sense that they stay true to what they perceive to be good. A lot of people seem to fall short of that which they say they are…
This would leave me to believe that most people don’t see life as a chance to be beautiful. I am not sure what they see it as a chance to be, perhaps get money, get laid, get possesions, get babies, who knows. But then also, perhaps these are good things to people. And perhaps that is where my confusion lies. For me, being the best person I know how to be is to give Love, kindness, understanding, empathy, joy, beauty and truth. And perhaps that alone, is the source of the pain…
MidWeekPonderings, Basic4 PM
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Today I:
Lost 10 dollars.
Fondled my boobies.
Feel tired.
Itched my arse.
Kissed my cats, (with tongues and everything.)*
Went to Heaven.
Wiggled my toes.
Lost a bet, (I really thought he would shag her.)
Did his job cuz I lost.
Adopted a new Father.
Told a story.
Kissed the moon.
Listened carefully.
Held my breath.
Picked my nose.
Used my brain.
Believed in things.
Fondles my boobies again.
Nearly hit another cyclist.
Gave advice.
Cleaned out shit.
Made a wish.
And then I made another…
(*This is a lie, well the tongue part is…)
ToDoneList, DinnerWithALady PM
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So I moved!!! Woopidoodliaye!!! Dope crib, dope roomies and a happy, happy me! Tis one o da tings one grasps for in life, and me have attained it once again…
Matt, (my new roomie), has an obcession with opposable thumbs and I guess in many ways, quite rightly so. However, he immediately took to teasing my little Angels about their lack thereof. “Would you like some potato salad Nimbus? Well get youself a fork and you can. Oh wait, I forgot, [at this point he starts wiggling his thumbs in the cats faces], you don’t have any of these do you..?” Wanker, I’ma have to school him on being blessed to Angels and therefore in receipt of their magic gifts…
I managed to get myself severly sunburnt in a matter of a few hours yesterday. Now I have a wife beater sun-inked onto my body and I am sore…
Well, I am off, tonight is the last 3 7000 9 gig ever and me needs to take a shower…
ShhhhWhat’sThat?, AhhhhSilence PM