Saturday, 31st March 2001

03.31.01 to 03.17.01 (Really Old Rants!)

I know I have been rather lackadaisical about updating this past week or so and if anyone comes regularily enough to notice, “I sincerely apologize.” (c) Nou-Ra

But there is a good reason and that is the fact that I have been writing in torrents with my other voice. I am trying to decide whether or not to put those words up here, and at present am leaning towards no and never, but that may change like my underwear…

I had an amazing dream on Friday night. The dreamscape was that of a medieval, pagan France, and there was a large brown/gray stone building that seemed like a convent or nunnery. Inside the convent was a little girl of maybe 7 or so and she was my daughter or sister. She was dressed in a white smock. My task was to rescue her. I had three crystals as the source of my power and one in particular was very potent. It was a dark, menstrual red and had a silver cap on one end. It was shaped almost like an obelisk. If I held this crystal in my left hand I could fly and had all manner of magic, supa hero powers. So I set about to rescue her and there were two men attempting to stop me. They tried to take my crystal as they knew if they took this I would be rendered powerless. Needless to say, I kicked their fatherkerfucking arses and rescued the child…

So Sao and I went looking for the crystal this afternoon. We found it in some store on South Street. Believe it or not, the stone was amber, just a deep red variety of it. And when it was held in my hand, the colour of my skin gave it the extra depth. Unfortunately I couldn’t afford it, ($85), but at least now I know what it is. The Woman in the shop said, “There is 20% off all amber too!” Yeah right, I’d need to have 80% off in order for me to be able to afford that…

How much do you Love that feeling that hits you right in the solar plexus when you have created something beautiful? To quote something I said to Sao, “I feel like the Great Cunt in the Void just shot a whole torrent of Cunt Snot right at me!” Ahh, the bliss…

MySecretIsThatISing, Pegasus PM

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Oh the joy, the joy, the insurmountable joy! I was just looking at my stats page and the search strings indicate that if you do a search for ‘Obscene People’ and ‘Cops Fucking’ my site turns up!!! Ahhh, do you understand the joy I am experiencing because of this..?

I have been reading a lot this week. I just finished an amazing book called ‘The Philospher’s Stone’ by Colin Wilson. Highly recommended. It’s about how we exist in an under-developed consciousness and the protagonists search for ‘normal’, (or in our case, heightened), consciousness.

The other book I am still reading is called ‘After Silence: Rape and my Journey Back’ by Nancy Venable Raine. Absolutely outstanding. Everyone, regardless of whether or not you have been raped or know someone that has been raped, should read this. I would describe this book as the best thing I have ever done for myself…

I also got some of the colour done on my half-sleeve on Monday. I still have to go back to get the background in, but so far the Faeries and Dragon look stunning. I am in Love with my arm. I think I may propose to it…

And the good news is that I may be moving to a crib whereby my rent would be a buck fiddy a month. I would be rich again!!! I wouldn’t have to worry about part-time work and so would have innordinate amounts of me time and still enough cash to get drunk whenever I wanted. Ahhh, the joy of a Cunty Blessed life…

TheyAreAllInMiami, MeAndMyRoom PM

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“When people say you’re dead, you know you caught their eye, and on any other day I’d be soul destroyed, but that’s just not the way now, I don’t mind telling you nothing is quite what it seems.”

The Sundays, from ‘Blood on my Hands’

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I just had an incarnation reading done for me by my friend Oskar. Apparently my incarnation objective this time around is that of Auset (aka Isis). As far as I can gather she is the archetypal mother figure. Luckily for me I have a book on her that I bought ages ago and never got around to reading so I can get me jolly old self to meditating on her…

I guess this means that I am gonna have to stop pretending to be the tough, androgynous tomboy thing and get myself to hugging the world better. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do anyway…

I still think babies are gross, wrinkly, scary things though…

JasmineDays, Murkha Dhal PM

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All the stars are dead, but still they shine on…

And that is me too. I am simply the echo of the Life that brewed within my Mothers Womb. Combusted by birth, it matters not what I perceive myself as doing, for I am simply the resonance of time and space joining to portray the picture you formulate as me..

I cannot shake this feeling that I do not exist. I can only conceive of myself as an abstract, an idea, manipulated by some mind of purer, more unique and profound variables than my limited existence can bring me…

These feelings of familiarity seem to serve this concept well. Some intuitive clarity brings me the notion that I am the candle, life force the wick and birth is the spark that burns me into a forgetful oblivion..

How great my Mother’s Womb..?

Did she create me or is the foetus the ultimate parasitic experience using the Mother’s flame as the primordial spark in which to divine new life..?

And so the fire burns on. Flame buried within flame, the fire burns on…

And if distance were to shrink and some new people were to gaze upon us, would we exist for them? Are we large or strong enough to permeate that darkness or would they find a planet uninhabited..?

Another moon caught up in the echo of sunshine…

TheOtherVoice, GodJuice PM

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Pay day came yesterday and so today I went out and got me likkle young self a copy of the new Sylk130 album, ‘Re-members Only’. I am only on my second listening but so far I am loving it.

Last night I had GL for the Roni Size gig at the Trocadero here in Philly. May I just take this moment to tell you that the Troc is a ridiculous establishment. You have the choice to either dance, drink beer or smoke cigarettes. What kind of kickstand bullshit is that..? I am a chain smoking, fledgling alcoholic who likes to dance. Needless to say, I left pretty pronto and didn’t see the gig…

And so today is a very happy day. After being banned from calling anyone Hoof Foot for ages, I have finally found someone who will let me call them it. This is a very positive move in my psychological well being grand cunty plan. Calling someone Hoof Foot gives me such emmense joy and I have been lacking in the Hoof Foot Joy Department for several years now. But joy unto cunty voids being filled, my Hoof Foot-less days are over…

(Sorry, but that one even has me laughing and I can’t think of anything else to say except go and interpret my dreams for me will ya..?)

ILoveAlisonMoyet, Dehydrated PM


Friday, 16th March 2001

03.16.01 to 03.10.01 (Really Old Rants!)

[Disclaimer: I am generalising…]

You cannot say sorry to an American. American’s see sorry as an admission of guilt. I knew that after I said I was sorry to the man that ran me over on my bike. He took it as some kind of alleviation of what he had done and chose to believe that I was saying it was my fault. What I was trying to say was that I was sorry that the situation had happened for him as well as me. He was shook up too, as well he should have been, he nearly killed me…

And I said sorry to her too. I said I was sorry as her life would have to change and even though I had been telling her it would since November, I was sorry that the comfortability of the norm would have to change. I wasn’t saying I was wrong, I was being compassionate. But of course, now it is all my fault…

You cannot say sorry to an American unless you are saying that the issue is your fault…

ItCouldHaveBeenSoEasy, Goodbye PM

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I am cuntfabulously Pimptastic right about now. I went out with another boy last night. Actually it was the gushy, touchy feely Woman’s ex-boyfriend that I met last Thursday. The world is an interesting place I tell ya. Interesting indeed…

ViolenceIsAnUglyThing, Thirsty PM

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I am Pimptastic. I am Pimp Queen and I owe it all to my Pimptastic mentor Tayyib…

I kissed the boy again. In fact, I did more than kiss the boy again. I shoved my fingers up my Cunt and wiped my Cunt juice on his lips and then kissed it off just like I said I would. It was good…

NakedRompsAreGood, NoSleep PM

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One of my cats looks like an egg and the other a racing car. Just thought that may interest you…

On Thursday night I met this Woman who proceeded to tell me how beautiful I was for about half an hour straight. I think she may have been on E or something, judging by how gushing and touchy feely she was. She was fine too. So as she was extoling my beauty to me she was also trying to hook me up with her ex-boyfriend. That was really weard. Wearder still is that I had met her ex-boyfriend once a while ago and find him attractive. Wearder and wearder still is the fact that her ex was at my bar last night…

I have been trying to persuade my boss, The Geegy One, to let me go to the Miami Music Conference. His usual reponse is a look that says, “Come now, I know you are smarter than that!” However, on Thursday night I kidnapped him and made him come to the bar with me. At some point during the night he and The Major were talking about the conference and the blessed be Cunt that is The Geegy One turned to me and said, “Submit me a budget for Miami and I’ll see what I can do.” (At this point I would ordinarily insert some large, bold font and say wahoo big and loud and proud, but I don’t feel like it.) So my point in relaying this here is that I would like you, please, to send a prayer to The Great Cunticus in the Voidicus petitioning her on my behalf. Just a brief statement of Thanks will do. Prayer, after all, is not supplication but the offspring of patience and gratitude…

One of my feet looks like a flipper and the other a wing. Just thought that might interest you…

It’sStillTheSundays, PopcornForBreakfast PM

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With the alignment of Womb excavation and Full Moon, I do believe I have obtained psychic powers. Why do I think this? Because I know fully well that you are thinking, “My bloody Cunt, that Tank Green is really amazing. Will you just look at her wonderful new frames site!!!”

I know, I know, but you can stop the applause now, can’t you see I’m going red..?

If you come straight to this page you should rebookmark the site so it doesn’t look all weird. Okay..?

I have strenuosly calculated the Philosophy Results for the lung snot question. I am rather sad that so few people like orange as that is my personal favourite. But, that’s neither here nor there when I remember that difference is what makes us pretty. The new question is of a rather political nature and so should interest all the social revolutionaries out there.

The Sundays mean me right now. I have their three CD’s on rotation in me lean, mean, music machine and I don’t have any intentions of taking them off. Just thought I would mention that…

I’mItchingForSpring, NeedFoodBad PM