Friday, 24th November 2000
11.24.00 to 11.18.00 (Really Old Rants!)
Okay Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention for a moment? Good… Let’s talk about White Privilege. Mostreen and I have decided to give ours away. We decided a looooooong time ago that White Privilege is unfairly distributed, (i.e. given freely to white people only), and have been at a dilemma as to what to do about this situation. Well, last night we and our Nubian Sistren N, decided that we should give it away.
The cunt thing about it, is that since it is a renewable energy source we can forever give it away. And since everyone other than white people have been paying for it ever since ol’ whitey discovered Travel, we shall be giving it away for FREE! No-one can stop us, since it is ours to give and we would like to share this pass to societal redemption and unearned privilege with all who wish to have it.
“How will you do this?”, you ask. Well, it’s simple! We have created the White Privilege Card.* All you have to do is save it, print it out and show it where ever you feel the need to. For instance, when encountering the cops, when needing a cab, when in the suburbs, when going to school, when attempting to get medical attention, when on the highway in Jersey, when applying for a job, when in a restaurant, when at a bar, when calling 911, when shopping and when just generally walking down the street. But I’m sure you know better then I ever could, as to when this Card would be most useful to you.
The cuntaliciously GREAT thing about the White Privilege Card is that the offer will not be withdrawn and you don’t even have to be white to use it. Ever felt like the white man stole your rights?, (I know you do!), well now we freely give them back to you.
So go ahead, get yourself it, and make a mockery out of ol’ whiteys plan!
WeGotCableToday, SoonWillBeBeerTime PM
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I have felt for some time that I am missing the point. Like two bottles stood nape on nape and every teeter a wrench to my soul. Pain calls and I follow…
The sky rains stars and two days later I am hit by a car. Head lights, screams, darkness and then me flying, (at last I fly!), and then the crack of my head hitting the road and I am lost once more. Lied to by the fuel of fear, shaking I stare at the damage. Blood..? No, no blood…
I’ve never been one to be easy on myself and now my harshness frightens me with it’s severity. What point is it I prove to myself? I know my will to live is perhaps not the strongest on the planet. Pain seems less in death and yet, I had not realised that I could be so sullen. Yet sullen and obvious I am, like a child that finds the slenderest bow, followed by her cradle around her in splinters…
Insincerity surrounds me of late and like the bastard child of mediocrity it is, I watch it spreading and it tires me so. How long til I greet like with like and disgust myself? And yet if I leave, where should I go? What could suit my soul when all I wanted does not?
Oh yeah, happy Mind-if-we-lie-to-you,-trick-you,-murder-you,-then-steal-all-your-land-from-you? day…
“I suppose I could just walk away, would I disappoint my future if I stayed..?” Sade
IGuessAlotOfPeopleAreEatingTurkeyToday, ThankFuckForArnica PM
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“I guess all the flowers died last night.” The Taxi Driver.
“Can I borrow a hundred and fifty dollars?” (c) Common revised by Tankonia…
AtLeastIGotToGoHomeEarly, OuchBruiseAche PM
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I have been having bizarre cravings for cucumbers. No, get that lude thought out of your head, I am a chaste, non-secular nun for Mary’s sake…
I have started divining a new spirit. Most calls her the fat lady, as she likes to put Miss Lilly, (my hot water bottle), down the front of my trousers and wobble it in people’s faces…
My rollie tastes like a joint…
All types of crazy things happen, and if we don’t tell our Truth about these matters, the Truth will eat us up from the inside and we will die. Tell the Truth, even if it feels like death to tell it…
“OH FUCK!” (c) Miss Maureen.
I am a fatist. I want to get a really sharp knife and shave off people’s lumpy arses…
Catnip is like hydro for cats.
If you ever get an oral piercing, drink iced water immediately afterwards and for several more days after that…
I am afraid of thinking because I cannot make up my mind…
LastSleepDayAndItHasBeenLuvolee, IsItEverTheAm? PM
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Well, it appears that my sense of humour has returned after a weeks vacation. Of this, I am very glad. I mean, it’s not like I mind that she buggers off every now and then, (unless of course she’s messing around with some preppy, white boy, cuz then I would be MAD!), but you know, it’s always much more fun when you can appreciate the tickling stick…
Someone suggested that perhaps I should sweeten my pixels a little and honey coat my rants, I presume he was refering to my lack of humour of late. That kind of pissed me off, because quite frankly the dots upon this screen you read, are the cyber equivalent of me playing naked and alone in my room, with you peeping in through the window. I don’t mind so much that you can see cuz I know you can’t get in to hurt me. Anyway, I say this to say, if you don’t like it, bugger off. Is it your name dot com? I think not. I say what the world inspires me to, and if you don’t like it, be a better person…
I am going to Heaven a little later with the Most. I am very excited about this as we haven’t been in a little while. Most says she is gonna hit on the mannie that works at McDonalds to see if we can get our medium cups for free. Anyway, I’m gonna get me a lovely hot water bottle as, (inject tones of sarcasm here please), oh joy, the heat in my bedroom doesn’t work! And to top off that joy, since someone stole one of our downstairs storm windows this summer and I had to use my bedroom one to replace it, we can safely say my room is FUCKING FREEZING!!! I went into the scarey place last night to try and fuck with the heating system. Curse my bastard slumlord, (say it with me, “Volpe Real Estate is a kickstand company!”), cuz house dungeons are a Tank’s Greens worst nightmare. It’s like all the satans spawn in all the world live in my basement. I hate them fucko’s more than anything in the world. In my humble opinion, anything with more than 4 legs should never have been invented. But the real reason I hate my Slumlord bastard right now is because whilst down there, in that dank, dark abyss, I really started to question whether or not the Goddess was indeed a Woman. I mean, what Woman in her right mind would invent something as grotesque as a spider? Oh wait, my bad, we *do* invent men, so I guess some part of us must be warped somewhere…
On a parting note, does anyone know what a roof rat is? See there are these things that run around on our roof and it sounds like horses doing the high jump and landing badly. I have heard about roof rats and I wanna know if this is what is doing the ungraceful dance upon my oh, so fancy abode. So if you know what the kerfuck a roof rat is, please email me.
IWouldHaveSleptLateIfACertain
FluffBallHadn’tDecidedToPadMyHeadDayOne,
MelanismIsTheShitCuzHeBought
MeSomeTwigletsYesterday PM
Friday, 17th November 2000
11.17.00 to 11.11.00 (Really Old Rants!)
Misogyny, it rears it’s ugly head in so many different ways and still men say there is no need for feminism. Kinda like how most white people feel that there is no need for affirmative action or Black Power movements, everything is straight now right..? I dunno, the shit really pisses me the fuck off when ‘men’ ignore me, disbelieve me, push me aside, demean me, sexualise me, presume less of me, objectify me, treat me as inferior and just generally behave like brain dead morons all because they can’t get past the fact that I possess a ‘warm, wet hole’ that they really wish they had never left in the first place.
Sexism, as does racism and classism, exists so much more in this country than it ever did for me in engerland. It seems to me that this place is so deeply embedded within the endless drone of the white man’s monologue and machismo rules all. Even the Women here seem to feel a need to prove themself to some external, obsolete opinion and that is a sad state of affairs. For surely if one knows oneself, one need not prove who they are for they already are that thing…
I guess in some senses it is better that these lobotomised fuckwits deem me as less cuz I got the good end of the physical stick. A good warrior never underestimates her enemies and guess who’s doing what..?
Quote of the Day: “I ain’t tryin to see myself locked up for knocking up some young jawn…” Musiq.
BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA! Eejit…
OnlyOneMoreTayTillICanSleep, PotPiesTomorrow PM
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So I have solved the mystery of Macy Gray and her horrific vocals known by people representing Sony to the fullest, as “singing”. She is a Troll. It came to me as all good epiphanies do in a flash as I heard the remix of Common’s “Geto Heaven”. That shit is plain nasty. Not the joint per se, just her nasty ass vocals all over it. But as we all know that’s just my opinion and it in no way represents the views of her Mother or the fraud that knocked at her door one day proclaiming to be a singing coach.
Look to your left and you shall see a special new link. Please go and answer my questionnaire, it’s very important to me. When the moment has ended I will put the results up in the form of a luvolee pie chart or something like that.
I don’t really have too much else to say other than, go here and buy his music and go to his gigs. If not, may your modem always be sluggish.
BollixIGottaAlarmCallDayTwo, BrrrWhyDoesn’tMyHeatWork? PM
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So, I stumbled into a cop party by accident last night. Mostreen and I went out to the bar to have a few bevvies and Matt told us that there was a cop party… I had no idea, but apparently cop’s have groupies too. I thought only artists had groupies, but no, I saw many a dolly bird rubbing herself up against some detatchable penis toting person. Well, in thinking, I suppose cop’s are artists in some perverted sense too. They have perfected the art of being an arsehole. Some of the cop’s were all bling blinged out complete with ice and tiger striped shirts. The depths of tastelessness that some people have astounds me. There was one Woman there whom I felt so sorry for, as her definition of self came so obviously through the applaud and eyes of others. How tormenting a life must be if lived by the doctrines of the approval of others… When they had all got drink happy they were all dancing up on each other. The bar has no dancing licence, so technically they could have arrested themselves which I found highly amusing. I found much inward hilarity last night which surely would have faded had they known…
Your Play Option today is to read the following few paragraphs and to really digest and think about them. They are on my quoteables page, but I think they sum up a lot of Amerikkka’s problem…
“America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the American humorist Kin Hubbard, “It ain’t no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.” It is infact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on it’s wall asking this cruel question: “If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?” There will also be an American flag no larger than a child’s hand glued to a lollipop stick and flying from the cash register…
Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue� Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say, Napoleonic times.
Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.”
Words of wisdom from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, Slaughterhouse Five.
SleepLotsDayTwo,
IfAnyoneKnowsHowToGetToLothlorien
PleaseEmailMePM
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The Most’s phizone works again, of this I am very glad. The past week has brought her into my room during the deepest reaches of night when she thinks I am sound asleep. Oh Miss Most, that I was not and now I know why our phone bills are so high and I also know far too much about your sexual preferences… I really didn’t know that fat middle aged white business men could be a turn on for anyone, but alas, the Most has proved me wrong… You should see the way she salivates over them talking about stocks and bonds and then she would say shit like, “Let me hear your jelly belly wobble!” “Whisper me sweet nothings with your third chin!” “Will you rename your warts after me?” Really revolting stuff…*
I was reading this Rolling Stone article today debunking the theory that violent TV and video games etc etc affect kids negatively. It was such a ridiculous story. Regardless of whether or not violence through the media affects kids, I think the far more poignant question, is why do we feel a need to view violence as a culture? Why the fuck is violence entertainment to us? Should not entertainment be a release from the everyday world? Should not it strive to help us, ease us, tickle our funny knobbly bits and twiddley parts..?
There was also this long article about Drew Barrymore. I Love her I do. We are the same age and I remember empathising with her way back in ET’s world. Anyway, she mentioned how this book Conversations with God really changed her life. Weird, not weird in the slightest, which ever way you look at it, everyone I know who has read this book has come to startling, positive and progressive realisations about themselves and their relationships with others. Go read if you haven’t already. Please, I emplore you…
Thoughts of the Day:
If people can use their imaginations well enough to see themselves as having 3 billion dowars, why can’t they use the same imagination to see themself as that starving child who could use some of that cash to stay alive?
If ‘men’ continually disrespect Women, yet would attack the first fatherfucker that disrespected their Mother, Sister, Daughter, why can’t they pretend that they are another person and then see that the Women they disrespect are their kin?
If our intellect, soul and emotions are what defines us, why the kerfuck do people care about the packaging?
Why do people care about who someone fucks, unless they plan on fucking that person themself?
Okay, I Love You, I’m off to go frolick in some Autumnal glade with the Elves. (I’m saying, how about we go to Lothlorien this time..?)
*That was nothing other, everything and, a great big fat lie. Sorry Most, but I just thought it was really amusing…
PS. This update has been brought to you by Rolling Stone Magazine and God. I expect a T-Shirt line to come out next spring with the sponsorship money. That is provided I haven’t drunk myself sober with it by then…
SleepLotsDayOne, DrainoFumesAreNotGoodForYourHealth PM.