I HAVE DECIDED THAT FROM NOW ON, I WILL ONLY TYPE IN BLOCK CAPITALS SINCE THIS IS INTERNET LANGUAGE FOR SHOUTING.

IT CAN BE PRETTY MUCH ASSUMED THAT I AM SHOUTING ALL THE TIME.

CAN YOU HEAR ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH? I AM SHOUTING AT YOU AND YOUR SHITTY FUCKING ATTITUDE.

I AM, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, ON A CAMPAIGN TO LEGITIMISE ANGER. IT IS A VERY VALID AND REASONABLE RESPONSE TO THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT THAT SPEWS OUT OF PRESENT DAY SOCIETY. SHIT, I WAS READING SOME RABELAIS EARLIER AND HE TALKS ABOUT THE BULLSHIT, SO PERHAPS I SHOULD CHANGE MY CAMPAIGN TO TAKE IN THE ETERNAL BULLSHIT THAT IS HUMANITY.

DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU FUCKING REPULSE ME YOU FUCKER.

TO GET STARTED, HERE ARE A FEW OF THE THINGS THAT REALLY PISS ME OFF:

1) I HATE THE FACT THAT THE WORD ‘RAGE’ MEANS RABIES IN FRENCH. BEFORE I LEARNT THAT, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LIKED THE WORD RAGE. I FELT THAT IT ADDED AN ELEMENT OF SOPHISTICATION TO MY ANGER. BUT NOW, EVERY TIME I WRITE THE WORD RAGE, I AM REMINDED OF A RABID ANIMAL. AND ALTHOUGH, TRULY, I AM A BIT OF A RABID ANIMAL RIGHT NOW, THAT IS A FUCKING SECRET AND I WILL TEAR THE JUGULAR OUT OF ANY SON OF A BITCH THAT MENTIONS IT. THE FRENCH REALLY PISS ME OFF WITH THEIR STUPID OWNERSHIP OF A LOT OF THE SO CALLED ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

2) IF YOU ARE A MALE AND/OR A PART OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY - I HATE YOU. NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. OH WAIT, RHOME, FOR THE PURPOSES OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, YOU ARE A FEMALE DESIGNER.

3) IT REALLY MAKES ME MAD AS ALL HELL THAT THE PHRASE ‘SON OF A BITCH’ IS AN INSULT TO SOMEONE’S MOTHER. I HATE THAT. I LOVE THAT PHRASE RIGHT NOW ESPECIALLY IN REFERENCE TO A CERTAIN SON OF A BITCH WHO IS ABOUT AS CONSISTENT AS THE PATTERNS ON THE WALL THAT HIS BLOOD WOULD MAKE IF I SHOVED HIS HEAD IN A FUCKING BLENDER AND THEN TOOK THE LID OFF. OR, AS A BETTER, MORE APPROPRIATE ANALOGY, AS CONSISTENT AS THE KNIFE WOUNDS ON HIS GENITAL REGIONS WOULD BE IF I SHUT MY EYES AND THREW AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF KNIVES FOR 23 HOURS STRAIGHT. NO, MAKE THAT 23 DAYS. OR MAYBE, OUT OF PITY, I SHOULD JUST RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND FEED ITS DISEASED REMNANTS TO THE RATS. I MEAN, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU USED IT ANYWAY…

4) IF YOU EVER EVEN DARE TO SAY ANYTHING LIKE YOU THINK I SHOULDN’T BE SO FUCKING ANGRY - GO FUCK YOURSELF. READ A FUCKING NEWSPAPER AND TELL ME - IS THIS LIFE FAIR? I DON’T THINK SO YOU IGNORANT, LAZY, APATHETIC SON OF A BITCH.

5) AND ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE, I WILL STOP BEING LIVID WHEN YOU SONS OF BITCHES DROP THE MISOGYNY. DON’T WANT ME TO SPIT ACID IN YOUR FACE? THEN TAKE YOUR HANDS AND DEFINITIONS OFF OF MY BODY AND MIND. THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED ABYSMAL SPECIMEN OF HUMANITY.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

PS: I’M ALSO PISSED THAT EVEN THOUGH BRADLY AND JENNY BROKE UP, I STILL DON’T HAVE A HOPE IN HELL OF EVER BEING NAKED IN A ROOM WITH HIM.

PPS: JUST BECAUSE THAT LAST NOTE WAS AN ACT OF LEVITY, IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I’M NOT REALLY ANGRY, BECAUSE I AM.

PPPS: I RELATED TO THIS. YOU NON-JUSTIFYING, WOMAN-BLAMING SACK OF PUTRID SHIT.

January 9th, 2005 | Category: Righteous Rage, The Dordogne | Subscribe to comments | Both comments and pings are currently closed