I have had the domain name, www.someoneelse.com, for a couple of years now. I bought it to use it as an anonymous journal to talk about things that I deemed inappropriate for teegee.com. I bought it for sad Tank, shall be say. However, after a couple of months of journal entries I shut it down, because, well, as the remaining teaser page says, “someone anonymity made me feel like a coward”.

Over the course of the last year I have thought that that name, someone else, is just the perfect name for a domain about STDs or STIs. Like all “bad” things, no one ever expects it to happen to them: it’s always someone else, right? I didn’t want to shift my HPV section over there though because one of the main points of that section is / was to incorporate the admission or diagnosis into a whole person. I didn’t want to set it aside like, this is Tank and this is Tank’s STD. Come here my dahling, I vant you to meet my friend. Hahahahahaa.

Recently I started an email conversation with a friend who has HSV, (herpes), about the notion of guilt and future lovers when it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I should / could use someoneelse.com as a collaborative project for women and STIs. My ideas aren’t exactly solidified right now, but I wanted to post about it so should any reader wish to somehow contribute or collaborate on the project with us, (either anonymously or identified), they could get in touch with me by either posting a comment or emailing tankgreen AT gmail.com.

I want the project to be primarily centred around women because, well, I am one and also because I think the emotional ramifications for women, sex and disease are further reaching than with their male counterparts. There is no virgin / whore dichotomy for men and the notions of promiscuity that the contraction of an STD culturally implies doesn’t really apply to men in the same way. A woman’s body is a public commodity; there is so much discourse surrounding it and whilst you could argue that this project is merely adding to said discourse, I think that the individual and perhaps more generally us as people, could benefit from the discussion. So really, this is a call to women who think they might like to write an article, compile a photo essay or actually maintain a blog or something else entirely.

I will also be maintaining an anonymous group blog, something like feel on the Wing of Madness site. This will be open to women and men and, of course, be moderated for wankers, but I think that reading desperation, as sometimes arises on feel, can be good for the soul. Makes you see that even in darkness, you are not alone.

If you are interested then please note that I do have stipulations for involvement. Namely, I want the site to be sex positive, so if you feel that this is comeuppance for pre-marital sex or sex in general, then I am not interested in your involvement. I am interested in prodding and dispersing the emotions surrounding an STI diagnosis, not supporting them by adding any more guilt or shame to the mix. I want you to question why you / we feel that way about an STD diagnosis and then liberate yourself from the detrimental ramifications it implies. I think that as humans we struggle with guilt and shame, and that struggle is a path to an emotional freedom from it, but accepting the guilt or shame as something you deserve or brought upon yourself is not helpful to anyone, least of all yourself.

I am also interested in giving voice to the partners of people with STDs - female or male. Specifically those people who do not / did not have the infection but accepted the person regardless. I know there are lots of you and I think that the newly diagnosed and also, the you of your past, would benefit from reading your voice.

This project is not limited to HSV or HPV as, quite frankly, I am interested in any and all STDs. From HIV to Chlamydia, there is a common bond there when we approach the notion of the infections from an emotional standpoint. This is what I want to address and give voice to. Obviously the depths of the emotional ramifications of the diagnosis are going to vary from person to person and disease to disease but I do believe there is a common thread and this is something I would like to explore if you will play along with me.

November 25th, 2004 | Category: Gynocentric, The Dordogne | Subscribe to comments | Both comments and pings are currently closed