After the movie…
I am coming more and more to the place of knowledge known as Men Do Not Have Emotions. From this lovely new vantage point I have decided that movies like City of Angels should be banned. They are big, fat misleading lies that dupe Women like me into believing in Something That Does Not Exist. Once duped into the fallacy of Men Have Emotions we are set up for let down after let down after big fat let down.
Men do not have emotions, they have biological urges.
Admittedly I do have a little problem separating factual life from the movies and so this is why I feel terribly wronged about the fact that a mannie is not going to fall from heaven and love me completely. I am outraged that a mannie is not going to think I am the greatest thing that ever graced the Cuntiverse and be completely content by laughing at all my jokes and watching me needle point. Hence the banning of all love stories. Quite frankly I believe all heterosexual Women are shit out of luck. The only Women who are ever going to find love and have magical things happen to them are dykes.
Again, I implore the Great Cunt In The Void to inject me with lesbianism because I want an angel to fall off a skyscraper and break his heart all to love me for about 23 hours.
In fact, I think movies like City of Angels might be the greatest act of misogyny ever committed upon the fairer sex. Fuck the vote, fuck equal rights, fuck property rights. What about unbroken heart rights? I think men need to come clean and admit that they have no capacity for emotion and all they want is a good rogering. Take a risk, you fucking bastards, and come clean with your organic selves. You no lovie, you shaggy…
March 20th, 2004 at 10:14 am
(note its allmost 4 am as im writing this so my spelling is realy off its all phonetic anyway just sound it out itll make sense) not all men have no emotion. i’m living proof. ive had to women in my life that ive loved with all my heaart and soul, and both hve betrayed me. i stood by them and protected them. i forced all the people in the school we went to to stop screwing around with there life. i gave everything i had to give and in the end i simply fond a great deal of pain and sorrow. i met Yullia (she was russion, brillient, beautifull, and sweet at least when i met her… that changed thanks in a large part to her never listening to me, i advised against some of the choices she made in regards to who her friends where, but she never listened to me… she ended up being a real witch by the last time i saw here {not in the magical sense}) 4 years ago… i was a much darker person… i had a crual streak a mile wide but because i refused to do anything that i would turn people off of being a christian i very very very rarly allowed it to go unchecked mor than saying somthing sarcastic and cutting if i tought someone said somthing stupid. anywho… yullia and i became freinds and to make a very long story a good deal shorter i fell in love with her… now by love i mean everytinhg about her was like poetry to me, her graces and her flaws alike nothing she did realy affected the love and concern i had for her. waether she was kind or mean to me nothing in how i felt or acted changed every aspect of er life was of grat concearn to me. all i wanted was simply to be with her when i was with her the darkness in me ebbed. the cruelty that the emotionall wounds i had receaved created in me was abaited and i was felt at peace it was enough that we were together. my love for her was rather unrequited so there was always a hint of sorrow mingled with my joy. eventuly after two years she left and i havent seen her since. deep down i still love her even though i know and now thank God it didnt work out i will likly allways care for her. she snet me a letter some time after she left it basicly said she wold allways number me amongst the best friends she had ever had. hehe. cest le vive (my french spelling is as bad as my english :} )
well back to the preasent story. so we ended up very deeply in love. the peace i had known while i was with
well that was my first love it was allso when i reclaimed my emotions. i lost them for a very long time.
my second love was not unrequited. she actuly made the first move. if she hadnt i probably would have allowed my self to love her … i new how pleasent it was to love and how painfull it was to lose however i had now idea how blissfull it was to be loved. ahhhhhhhhhhh (sighs deaply at the thought of the wonderfull memories) Hana san (one of my many names for her once i get close to people i usuly rename them ) was one of the greatest blessing God ever gave me. she helped resurect the childish sense of wonderment that i now see the world through. she brought back my playfull side the part of me that loves life and living. before that i simply wanted to acomplish my missoin in life and leave earth( note: i still had a pretty bleak out look and equated evry aspect of life with some sort of pain or other.) at any rate i did all in power to help and protect her. i ended most of the problems she had with the people in our school (if youve ever transfered to an new school you know what its like trying to prove yourself…) the reason i could end the troubles of my freinds was evryone at the school owed me for some reason or another and i had damning evidence on most all of them for cheating or some other thing that they had done. though i never once threatened one of them. i didnt need to even at my darkest moments ive allways lived by a very riged code of honor and i dont lie intentionally ever. this has coaused many problems from having to admit what i do when cornered on it but ive allways faced the penalty and ive never regreted my choices. i was also a good freind of the princple but how that came about is a very long story. so all i ever needed t do was simply ask them to stop and i allways added a please to the statement. it sounded nicer that way
Yully was but a part of the expeareance when i was with Hana san the joy and wonderment of knowng each day when i went to class she would be there is somthing i cant rightly describe. when i was with her there was peace and joy and laughter and thet carried over to evry other facet of my life and it was more then i ever dreamed was possible. i never asked anything of her except that be faithfull to me. it often blew her mind that i trusted her no matter what we had one of the purist most wonderfull relationships of my life. i was her gaurdian her prtector and confidant. i was there whenever i was needed in both sorow and joy… her pain was my pain to cause her any sort of pain was to invoke the deepest depths of my wrath i loved her with my heart mind and soul only God took priority over her because he died for me and gave me my very life and love that i is a debt i can never repay. but love of the sort we had is not to last…
you make the cliam that all men realy want is sex well at least for my part i have to dissagree. the reason she left me was that i wasnt physical enough for her liking that and a hand full of other things that i swore not to speak of… we hadnt even kissed id been allowed to hold her in my arms to brat her air and taste her sweet scent on the air but i suppose she wanted more than i was willing to give… (i have no sense of smell but do taste things on the air its odd i know) at least untill im maried. to be honest im not realy look forward to having sex all that much… quite frankly i just enjoyed holding her in my arms and knowing we where togather and i could protect her…
well sufice to say in the end i was betrayed. but even now if i dint know that we are not ment for one another if i didnt know this with evry fiber of my being i would probably still be with her… ive allready gone on for a very long time so im going to close this no and go to bed
the last ill say is men do have emotinos and we are not all whorish sex hounds. ive never understood the double standered of men being able to sleep around and their freinds praise them for it but those same guys call a woman doing the same thing sluts or worse… i think its just as wrong to have sex befor marraige weather your a man or a woman. and true love does exist. thier is such a thing as pure unconditional love… its just hard to keep it alive and painfull because if you realy love someone you cant hurt them back for hurting you if youve ever truly loved someone the way ive described here youll know its the truth… love and pain go togather to temper one another and true love the kind from the story books the kind ive known is worth every moment of heart break….
because the meomries never go away the joy you felt cant be taken as i write this i am waiting for the one who was made just for me the one i was made for my mei kohno (the love of my soul) when we meet i will agin find a new joy in love. i prey that all who read this will expeareance the kind of love the story books promised its not a lie or a myth just far rarer than the most precious of gems.
be safe and God bless
March 20th, 2004 at 10:16 am
i have now idea where your web site is from but in tulsa its 4am ish