Vin Diesel Update
Holy Cunt Loving Life! Sometimes the world just favours a Tankster and today is one of those days!
On a Monday night I have to take the trash out and so after The Foot dropped me off I collected the cat shit and piss and toenail scrapings and potato peelings and went outside to the back yard. As I was out there I heard the sound of running water and a mannies voice chanting “Tank Green is my beauty queen” over and over. I was intrigued by the melody as it soared heights in which dwells the mistress’ Horny, Requited and Passion.
I squinted my eyes into the darkness and lo and behold, there was an outhouse at the bottom of my yard. I have never noticed this before and since this was the source of the melodic wonder I decided to investigate regardless of the likelihood of spiders attacking me.
Well, what do you know, Vin Diesel was in there taking a shower…
“Vinnie baby,” I said, “you’ll catch the death of cold running around all nekkid in my backyard. This isn’t summer you know!” To which he replied, “Tank, Tank, is that you? I am using the jizum of my loins to wash myself and I accidentally got some in my eyes.” “Oh Vinster!” I chided, “one must be more careful when lubing self with self, here, let me lick that off for you.”
I shall spare you the pornographic details so it shall suffice to say that we shagged like little nymphs and rolled around in the hay that also miraculously appeared in my backyard. Luckily Vin had bought 230 halogen lamps so we were warm.
Before I left him to make myself a nice cup of tea, we talked about his plans for the future. He told me, in complete confidence, that he is writing a new movie about his love for me. It is called “The Rapture of Tank Green” and here is the proposed advert for it. I must say that I think I look rather becoming, don’t you..?
January 14th, 2003 at 1:17 am
holy fucking shit…i never realized what a hot piece of man meat he really is.
*gnaws*
January 14th, 2003 at 2:06 am
i cannot wait to see this film.
he really really really is a luscious being.
January 14th, 2003 at 2:24 am
Is vin diesel the male equivalent of catherine zeta jones?
January 14th, 2003 at 2:34 am
bwaaahahaaahhaaaaaaaaaaa
and again
bwaaahahaaahhaaaaaaaaaaa
January 14th, 2003 at 10:06 am
boz, perhaps you misunderstand. vin diesel is the eqivalent of your significant other. if you have no sig. other, then the one that you will have at some point.
unless of course i misunderstand and catherine zeta jones is your missus’.
January 14th, 2003 at 11:09 am
I think you should go into the details….
January 14th, 2003 at 11:51 am
“unless of course i misunderstand and catherine zeta jones is your missus’.”
no, then she would be catherine zeta boz
January 14th, 2003 at 2:02 pm
it has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it..?
January 14th, 2003 at 4:32 pm
i feel vomitous.
January 14th, 2003 at 4:49 pm
nick - i am not erotica writer. unfortunately my talents lie elsewhere. however, when something this cuntspliferous happens again, i shall be more graphic just for you.
brainybwoy - why you so vomsteroneoumous? you wanted vinnie for yourself..?
January 14th, 2003 at 5:47 pm
Ouch, doesn’t the hay itch?
January 14th, 2003 at 7:04 pm
no, hay is lush and greenish still and beautifully pungent. if it were straw, now that would have been a whole nother experience…
January 15th, 2003 at 12:06 pm
pthbt!